Herald-News
March 21, 2012
It happened again last Saturday. An innocent day interrupted by a siren. And a hidden side of my wife has emerged again: My wife is an ambulance chaser.
I know in telling this I am a dead man. Yes, on the surface it isn’t a flattering image: Cheryl, riveted to lighted and loud vehicles, NASCAR-gripped fingers to the stirring wheel, left foot on the brake and right foot on the floor at all times. But twice now, while waiting for an ambulance for me and then at the hospital, I have seen an indescribable look from deep inside her. It shouts only one thing: Love.
This month is our thirty-ninth anniversary. When we married on St. Patrick’s Day I knew I had mastered love. Scientists are only now catching up to my deep insight and humility. They’ve decided the science of love tells the story. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, reeves up the desire to be with Cheryl. When we do something pleasurable dopamine squirts into my blood stream and I sing, “I want more.” It didn’t take me long to know I was hooked to that substance and Cheryl.
The chemistry parade continues. Another substance with a big name brings energy to be together constantly, and as one writer discovered, it helps with the “nuttiness that comes with romantic love.” I think Cheryl would say nutty fits me well. Serotonin was lower while we fell in love. Normally, it brings calm—hence the obsessing of a romantic heart when it is absent. My stash of serotonin dried up 40 years ago. Cheryl will have to tell you if I have ever obsessed over her—I’m not saying a word.
The adhesive that builds a bond is oxytocin. Called “the hormone of attachment and emotional empathy,” this super glue of love pushes us to look deeply into each other and causes us to trust. I’m glad for a steady stream of this stuff, especially during the hard times I have brought her way.
These researchers of romance have something to offer. The influence of physical, mental, and emotional factors is real. We are people, and even—especially—in romantic love our whole person is involved.
But God says something even greater is on display. Of marriage He says, “This is a profound mystery—but I am speaking about Christ and the church.” Earlier The Apostle said, “Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”
Wow, marriage is profoundly about Christ—and the smile I have loved for 40 years surfaces richer daily and each time in moments of crisis, reflecting the Savior’s strength, compassion, and sacrifice for all! Thank you Cheryl.
May the smile of Christ characterize all singles and couples for His glory!